A comfort zone is unique to each individual and depends on their personality: what’s normal for an extrovert might be stressful for an introvert. If you want a vibrant life filled with diverse events, intense emotions, and unforgettable experiences, you need to step out of your comfort zone. This also helps you overcome insecurities and fears. In this article, with bronxanka.com and psychologists from the Riverdale Psychology clinic in the Bronx, we explore the concept of the “comfort zone” and discuss ways to leave this very cozy—but potentially hazardous—place for personal growth.
What Is a Comfort Zone and Why Is It Dangerous?
The comfort zone isn’t a physical space but rather a reflection of a person’s inner state and behavior. It’s the realm where you feel most comfortable and secure because everything is familiar and understandable. This psychological comfort comes from being surrounded by familiar things, people, and events, which makes your behavior automatic and unconscious.
It’s important not to confuse the “comfort zone” with a “comfortable setting.” For example, you might enjoy the coziness of a soft sofa by the fireplace with a glass of wine—that’s physical comfort. The comfort zone, however, is more about a psychological state that can create an illusion of security while simultaneously becoming a trap.
Psychologist Alisa Auerbach from Riverdale Psychology emphasizes that constantly staying in this zone can be dangerous. A person gets used to acting mechanically and doesn’t think about their actions. While this has some advantages, like saving time and increasing efficiency in familiar situations, any changes can throw you off track. For example, if you are unexpectedly offered a business trip to another country after a long time in the office, it could become a stress factor. Thus, the comfort zone can become a barrier to growth and change. A familiar and calm lifestyle cannot be a stimulus for personal development. Getting trapped in the comfort zone is often caused by having just enough to get by—shelter, food, entertainment, and other minor material comforts.
Expanding the boundaries of your comfort zone changes your mindset, improves your perception of many things, simplifies problem-solving, and opens up new opportunities. You start to trust yourself more and boost your self-esteem.
Children are a perfect example of this. They eagerly absorb new information without prejudice and aren’t afraid of the unknown. To find new opportunities, it’s important to look at the world through the eyes of a child and step out of your comfort zone.
The Traffic Light Principle
There are three different zones people can be in, which can be visualized using a model resembling a traffic light. The signal colors—green, yellow, and red—help illustrate which zones are perceived as comfortable, acceptable, or painful.
The first is the “green” zone. It’s considered safe and pleasant, associated only with positive emotions. Next are the “yellow” growth zone and the “red” fear or panic zone.
In the growth zone, a person faces new challenges. Here, situations arise that go beyond the familiar, requiring new patterns of behavior or prompting re-evaluation. Growth means overcoming yourself and tapping into your hidden potential. But to move from the comfort zone to the growth zone, it takes courage and determination to leave old habits behind and try something new. Those who regularly step into the growth zone and find individual solutions to problems gradually expand their comfort zone, which strengthens their self-confidence and promotes positive personal development.
However, it’s necessary to know your limits and not demand too much of yourself. If an obstacle seems too large and insurmountable, it can lead to plunging into the “red” panic zone. This is especially true in situations where you need to perform multiple tasks at once, there’s high pressure, or the situation is perceived as physically or psychologically threatening. This can cause stress or a feeling of helplessness due to overload. Such a state can manifest physically with a rapid heartbeat, trembling, sweating, nausea, or dizziness. When in the “red” zone, a person often has a reflex to flee back to the safe “green” zone.
Fears of Leaving the Comfort Zone
“If only I had…” or “If only I were…”—such thoughts occur to almost everyone. So why are people so afraid of leaving their comfort zone to achieve their dreams and desires? It usually comes down to three main fears that prevent action.
- Fear of making decisions.
We make decisions every day, usually without much trouble. However, when we encounter new situations that require an active choice, it can cause significant discomfort. Indecisiveness and self-doubt about our ability to make decisions can make a person feel uneasy and quickly push them into a state of panic.
- Fear of failure.
This is one of the biggest barriers people face. Remember the feeling before an exam or a university admission interview? The psyche tries to protect itself from similar stressful situations where a person might fail. It’s simply easier to avoid any risks and bold steps that could radically change your life.
- Fear of rejection.
People often feel pressure from professionals in their field, which can cause a fear of judgment. Newcomers are afraid of making mistakes because they believe they will lead to rejection. It’s important to remember that mistakes are a normal part of learning, and criticism can be a catalyst for improvement. With self-work, anyone can become an expert in their field.
Where to Start When Leaving Your Comfort Zone
Leaving your comfort zone should be a gradual and slow process, without sharp movements toward the “red” zone. The psychologists at Riverdale Psychology in the Bronx advise starting with small steps. For example:
- Change your usual schedule (simply adjust the time for lunch, waking up, or other daily habits).
- Take a different route (drive to work a new way or walk to the gym on a parallel street).
- Shop at a new store or try unfamiliar foods.
- Meet someone new—it’s a great way to step outside your usual circle (you can do it on social media, but it’s better in real life).
- Try learning a new skill: embroidery, knitting, singing, playing the piano, etc.
- Watch a movie or read a book in a genre you’re not familiar with.
- Go on an unplanned trip—improvise without preparing in advance (at first, it could be a spontaneous walk around the city; the Bronx has countless interesting places to visit).
- Go to a restaurant with a cuisine that’s new to you.
- Try wearing new clothes you haven’t dared to wear before—experiment with styles and colors.
- Rearrange the furniture in your room.
- Join a charitable organization; there are many in the Bronx (some care for animals, children, the environment, or support vulnerable groups, immigrants, and the homeless).
Savor life daily with different “sauces” and “spices.” This way, you’ll not only expand your comfort zone but also discover new horizons in various areas of your life.
Habits to Help You Leave the Comfort Zone More Easily and Quickly
Here are a few more comprehensive techniques and ways to move from the “green” zone to the “yellow” one, from psychologist Lauren Kirschenbaum of Riverdale Psychology:
- New Morning Rituals.
Robin Sharma suggests following the 20/20/20 rule in the morning: dedicate the first 20 minutes to exercise, the next 20 to reviewing your goals, and the final 20 to learning by reading or watching educational materials. Don’t think the 20/20/20 formula will help you leave your comfort zone? Create your own morning ritual. For example, Benjamin Franklin would say a morning prayer and ask himself, “What good shall I do this day?”. Jack Dorsey meditates and runs 10k, and Steve Jobs would ask himself if he really wanted to do what was planned for the day.
- Embrace Conflict.
It’s a mistake to think that conflicts threaten progress. Successful people aren’t afraid of debates and know that conflicts can be a source of energy and creative ideas. However, it’s important to conduct discussions properly: first, express your thoughts, then listen to your opponent and find a compromise. Don’t be afraid of conflict, but engage in it constructively and respectfully. You don’t need to become a perpetually dissatisfied person, but if you disagree with something, always stand up for your opinion.
- Flexibility in Goals.
Psychologists advise setting big, ambitious goals. The right goal should feel both scary and exciting at the same time. Your dreams should be both intimidating and inspiring. However, it’s impossible to achieve something significant without small victories. Research has shown that completing small tasks helps release the happiness hormone. Even simple actions, like reading a book or making your bed, can trigger this feeling. If you focus only on big goals, you risk missing out on this hormone. Therefore, to understand how to leave your comfort zone, learn to balance between big and small goals.
- Say “Yes” More Often.
Remember the movie “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey? The main character changed his life just by agreeing to every proposal. Of course, you don’t need to sacrifice everything like he did, but it’s worth saying “Yes” to new projects, knowledge, and acquaintances. Who knows what consequences it might lead to and how it will expand your comfort zone.